Booze and Strippers

Friday, May 23, 2008
Tonight I attended a bachelor party.

The person who is getting sold into submission tomorrow is a good friend, and also a good Mormon. Let's do a little comparison of normal bachelor parties and Mormon bachelor parties:

SIGHTS
Normal bachelor party: Naked women gyrating inches from your face.
Mormon bachelor party: The movie UHF.

SOUNDS
Normal bachelor party: Motley Crue and AC/DC.
Mormon bachelor party: The "80s Alternative" station on Sirius radio.

SMELLS
Normal bachelor party: Booze, vomit, the naughty regions of strippers.
Mormon bachelor party: Burnt potato and hair spray due to the logistics of potato guns.

TASTES
Normal bachelor party: Booze, vomit, the naughty regions of strippers.
Mormon bachelor party: Red Vines and Sprite.

TOUCH
Normal bachelor party: Nothing. You can't feel anything from the alcohol.
Mormon bachelor party: Nothing. You still have to stay a safe distance from each other, lest somebody think you're gay.

1 comments:

[lisa] said...

did they use the red vine as a straw to drink their sprite? i think i did that when i was a kid... and was probably the last time i consumed red vines and sprite at the same time.

i keep forgetting to send you my wii #. this weekend-promise.