Holy underwear Batman!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Several years ago I went to visit my friend Jenny in Sweden. Through a long series of misconnected flights, my luggage disappeared into the abyss somewhere. (The abyss is also known as Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris - where luggage is often sucked into a black hole for eternity.)

Having been flying for 18+ hours and arriving with only the clothes on my back, I would soon be producing odors more suitable for - well, Paris. I was already feeling a bit uncomfortably sticky as it was. Since my luggage was not likely to show up that day, or even the day after, we chose to go to H&M to buy a few articles of clothing to get me through the next few days.

I bought a pair of jeans, a couple of t-shirts, and another set of my beloved "days of the week" socks.

I also bought a few sets of boxer-briefs.

After I got to the house and showered, I put on the boxer-briefs and was pleasantly surprised to find they fit perfectly. There was no excess material anywhere, yet they weren't fitting too tightly. This has been the opposite of my experience with US-market boxer briefs. I don't know why the US-market briefs don't fit well, but frankly they suck. The Hanes and Fruit-of-the-Loom briefs feel more like boxers with a bit of elasticity. Old Navy's boxer-briefs are particularly bad - I believe they were made for kangaroos with a pouch in the front and no genitals below.

Anyway, I later returned home with my new perfectly-fitting boxer-briefs and they joined the underwear rotation. But I always was sure to wear them for special "dressy" occasions like the symphony or funerals. You never know when you're going to get lucky at a funeral and want your best underwear on display for potential mourners.

While doing laundry today I noticed my very favorite pair of the set, a bold dark blue number, has developed a number of holes in the crotch area. They're not huge holes yet, but they will be in a a short matter of time.

It's times like this that I'm glad I'm single.

We all know that girls will make you throw away your favorite pair of underwear as soon as there are holes in it. Despite the imperfections, I am in no way ready to throw away this particular pair of briefs. In fact, I think I'm going to step away from dating for the next year or two, just so I don't end up in a relationship which may see my favorite banana hammock relegated to the trash bin.


Madi said...

I love the blue ones, their my fave.

jenny said...

i can buy you a new set and send it over if you want, i mean so you can get on with the dating and not worry. :)

Kellie & Cody said...

Hmm...I don't know--I'm mean, if the holes were flattering...I don't think I'd make my husband throw them away. Heck, I'd encourage him to wear them for special occassions! Hee hee!