Losing my religion

This post is particularly odd to write. I feel an odd mix of emotions - joy, relief, nervousness, maybe even a tiny bit of guilt. Some of you will be happy for me, some of you will be sad for me. Who knows, maybe some of you won't ever speak to me again. But here it is, like a turd on a table.

So I was born Mormon, just like a good portion of you reading this.

Throughout my life, I had various levels of interest in being religious. I was quite adamant about it through my youth. I attended church somewhat regularly through my teen years, although I wasn't as into it as I was in the prior years.

When I moved out on my own, I started attending the local church to start meeting people. I went along with the religion thing, but I wasn't really convinced of the truth of it. I did this for several years. During this time, I went through several relationships, most of which failed for religious reasons ... either I wasn't religious enough, or I was too religious. Basically I was a fence sitter.

Finally around age 25, I felt I needed to make a decision and choose a side of the fence. I read a lot. I talked to a lot of people. I prayed a lot. I finally decided that Mormonism (and religion in general) wasn't for me. I stopped going to church and never really looked back, and I felt fine about it. I never officially resigned from the church because I felt it didn't matter - I'm just a name on a list somewhere of no significance.

That all changed last year with the Prop 8 debacle. The leadership of the church had taken vaguely neutral stances (at a political level) in the past, but this one was very polarizing. It was at this point that I realized I no longer wanted to be associated with an organization that espoused these views. I felt dirty that I was even listed among them.

I sat for a few months thinking it over, but my feelings of disgust never subsided. It was time to formally resign. I filled out a generic resignation letter and sent it in. They processed it quickly and without any harassment to reconsider.

So as of June 15, 2009, I am no longer Mormon. I feel relief to no longer be associated with an organization that I feel openly persecutes, and uses questionable rationale to justify themselves.